I was self-medicating with one of those Dove dark chocolates a couple of days ago. You know: the ones with the insipid messages inside the foil wrapper. “Chocolate loves you unconditionally.” (While I believe in a magical universe, I’m not delusional.) “You’re delicious!” (And the chocolate knows this how? Or, if it is going around saying that to every chocolate eater, then I’m not really that special anymore, am I?) “Calories only exist if you count them.” (Uh, no, that’s just a lie. We all know this, I hope, and eat our chocolate anyway.)
But this wrapper had the most inspiring message evah: “Smiting is free!“
Then I saw that it actually read, “Smiling is free.” Oh, well, if you say so.